my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize