This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
