i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
