Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
