out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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