He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
