dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
