We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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