My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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