yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
