i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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