Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
