Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
