My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize