were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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