the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
