they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize