Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
