no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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