I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
