Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
