If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You can't special order awesome
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
