Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
false alarm, still single
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