and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
