we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
