Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
3 2 1 whiskey
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
