i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
