alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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