Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
