I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize