i need an iv and a liver transplant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Randomize
