I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
