He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
