He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
