I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
