There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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