Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
