I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
