Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
