amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
