she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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