if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
