I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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