my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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