You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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