and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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