I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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