guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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