he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
