in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Floor bacon is actually really good
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
