Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
