dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
