is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
