Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
