No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
