I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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