Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
