take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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