I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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