angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
