New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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