May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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